I hate that I love you
by Jero-chama
Summary: "You know, this whole thing can only end when one of us, you or me die. You know that right?" - Mitsunari finally faces off Ieyasu on the final match. Yet something is stopping him from avenging Hideyoshi! WARNING character death and OOC. Please R&R!


**Heyo guys! This is my first fic into this fandom and I was inspired to write this fic by actually playing the game. I mean, the way Mitsunari is so obsessed in [s]killing[/s] Ieyasu, that triggered my Fujoshi instinct. Haha anyway I have no idea what came to me while writing this at about 5+ am so please pardon my grammar mistakes and I know the plot(?) is weird. So yeah hehe. Please do review~! Thanks!**

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If only... You aren't Tokugawa Ieyasu and I'm not Ishida Mitsunari... If only you didn't kill Hideyoshi sama...

The climax of the battle of Sekigahara drew closer as the two commanders, east and west stood opposite each other. Ready to end it once and for all.

"IEYASSUUUUU-!" The silver haired commander roared, as the day he would finally avenge Hideyoshi came. The day he killed Tokugawa Ieyasu with his own hands.

He knew, Mitsunari knew. This day was supposed to be the day he look forward most to. Avenging his dearest Hideyoshi-sama. He was supposed to be feeling happy and excited. But he knew, somewhere in his heart, hidden away, lies a certain hesitation. A hesitation that screams no. I don't want to kill him. I don't want to kill Ieyasu.

And Ieyasu noticed. He noticed that uncertainty when the silver haired was griping hard on his sword. Shaking. As if he could not make a decision. And he knew, exactly why.

"Mitsunari..." Ieyasu whispered, loud enough for the other to hear.

"Don't call me by my name!" Mitsunari snarled back, holding his sword up to his stance, prepared to end his enemy.

The silver haired gritted his teeth. He knew he must kill Ieyasu today. Regardless of whatever reason. To avenge Hideyoshi.

"I will kill you... I will... I must...! To avenge Hideyoshi-sama!" he said, in a breaking voice that he himself do not realise. Millions of conflicted feelings went through his mind. He wanted to kill Ieyasu... But...

He leaped forward, with his sword in position, aiming for Ieyasu's heart. Ready to finally end Ieyasu's life. And the other man, was just standing there, with clearly no intention to defend himself and even giving a small smile.

Why...

"Why did you stop, Mitsunari?" Ieyasu asked, with a gentle tone and still bearing that gentle smile on his face. Mitsunari just stood there, his blade just an inch away from Ieyasu's heart which he aimed for in accuracy. His hands shaking, as if something was holding him back from killing the man before him.

"Then why did you act like... You didn't mind dying. You didn't even care about you life that I am about to take away from you" Mitsunari said to Ieyasu, while looking at him in the eye.

"Why? You know the reason don't you? Sakichi..." Ieyasu whispered back.

The silver haired never moved from his position. Ieyasu was right. He knew, he knew why he Ieyasu did nothing to defend himself, and he knew, what is holding them back.

"Shut up. I don't. I don't understand what you are saying. Shut the fuck up!" he screamed back, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks.

Yes, the reason why. The reason for both their actions is...

"Mitsunari, I love you."

Mitsunari hated this. Why does this have to happen? Why must he make a decision like this? He knew he have to avenge Hideyoshi. But yet... Why must it be Ieyasu..?

"Shut up... Why must you always do these things to me...?" Mitsunari said, his eyes never leaving Ieyasu's.

He knew he must make a choice. Between Hideyoshi, or the man he loved.

"Mitsunari, end my life right now, that is what you wished for right?" Ieyasu said, with a sad smile. Mitsunari's hand still shook.

This silenced between them continued for a few minutes which probably felt like hours to them when finally, it got broken when Mitsunari voiced out.

"You know, this whole thing can only end when one of us, you or me die. You know that right?" Mitsunari said, as he finally tightened the grip on his sword. Ieyasu saw that, and he knew Mitsunari finally made a choice. He closed his eyes, awaiting his death by his loved one. However, what he did not predicted was Mitsunari taking his sword and thrusting it into himself. He immediately opened his eyes when he heard the other falling to the ground.

"MITSUNARI!" he cried out as he went to him.

"Ieyasu you damn bastard..." he managed to choke out. "I made my choice."

"Shut up! Don't speak anymore!" Ieyasu cried, tears dropping down on the silver haired's pale face.

"It's either you, or me... I'm sorry... Hideyoshi-sama..." Mitsunari's eyes are slowly closing as he whispered.

"NO-! MITSUNARI! DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES! I LOVE YOU! DON'T DIE-!" Ieyasu screamed like a mad man, tears falling out of his eyes uncontrollably.

"If I am ever born again... I would want to see you. And I wish, we are able to be together... Always-"

After using up his last breath to say his final words to Ieyasu, he closed his eyes for the last time.

"MITSUNARIIIIIIIIIIIII-!" Ieyasu roared as he sobbed, mourning the death of his beloved one.

Why.. Why must it be like this?

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**Okay guys please do give me your views! I'm actually thinking of doing a sequel like when they reincarnate or something. Please do tell me if you want to see something like that haha!**


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